sigh!! sian sian sian..

vexed vexed vexed ah!

haix. nvm.

hope things will get better soon.

---

it seems to be ebbing.

unlike back then.

perhaps that's too much of a thought.

but it's definitely not the same anymore. i know.

sian. i'm so broke. haix.

want to buy things but no money! sian.. :(

---

haix haix haix

ok i shall stop whining.

no point. money wont come this way. haix

omg i feel so bad this morning.

ahh.. nvm. haix

what a bad day.

hmmm.. well had fun today..

went wild wild wet.

hmm.. six of us went there first,

jh, lw, nic, ald, aar, and myself.

-.- five of them lived around the same vicinity except me.

and all of them wore black! hahaha

i wore pink. so weird.

but it's ok, haha quite interesting.

hmmm.. went to play ooh lah lah.

went like so many times but we never took any decent photo!

-.-ll

hahaha

then three others joined in,

des, wil and jap.

so altogether, nine went www.

went there like from 10plus to 5!

sunburnt like hell.. everybody's so red! lol

after which we headed for dinner.

well.. ald, jap and des didnt join in.

so the remaining six of us went ahead.

met up with juan and aili.

went marina for steamboat.

celebrated wil's bday a day in advance.

happy birthday!

ok. so overall, i kinda enjoyed the day. (:

---

hmmm.. dont read too much into it ya.

it's really nothing.

just a friend is him.

even with nothing, you'll still be the one(:

so dont think too much ya.

and i'd really love to see you back there in action.

dont lose your passion pls.

i wont want to see you regret in future ya.

i'm alr regretting it,

for not being persistent in my passion.

i dont wish to see myself in you.

do reconsider ya.

---

alright. got to go.

nights ppl.

ARGH.....!!!!!!

just what the hell is going on!!!

hell i really hate this.

i tend to lose my temper darn easily these days.

cant control it. sharks

i'm really sorry to those out there whom i've been treating

coldly or raised my voice at.

i'm really sorry.

but i'm just so frustrated.

my appearance, my dumbness, my retardness, stupidity,

me being so indecisive, so dull and boring.

argh. i really hate myself.

think i'm really undergoing some minor depression.

soon it'll worsen.

something's really wrong with me.

been thinking alot.

fretting and worrying things that i dont really know either.

i really have no idea what i'm fretting and worrying abt.

sigh..

there's really nothing i can think of that's a happy thing.

my head aching again.

something just happened again.

mum and sisters rushed over.

just what the hell is wrong with everything.

nothing seems to be going well for me, family.

='(

today's a bad day.

yup. my com's up. but not totally well.

got naggings from mum, sis... for not getting it done at once.

i know nothing bout com.

ya ok it's my fault.

my dumbness once more.

didnt know i'd have to tell them all problems the com's creating.

sis cant make it tmr for repair.

looks like i can only get it done like next week.

ok shall end.

been crying when i'm alone

yet not being able to cry out loud.

i dont want ppl to worry for me.

oh wait. does anyone care bout me? nvm

i'll have to put up a stupid happy nothing's going wrong face

upon facing them.

like what the hell.. it's really a torture.

alright great. my com's @service currently..

so now, here i am, @kaiwen's house.

using the com.. hahah

check for my timetable actually.

well.. so i thought of posting as well.

it's been so long since i last updated.

hmm.. a month of work's over.

so now, it's back to school life again.

tmr's the start of school.

hohoho

i'm so happy with my new timetable

cos i got what i wanted for cds this time!

and that's freehand drawing!!

sounds cool huh.. lol

but it's like only once a week.

three hours for that once though.

somehow i yearned for more..

lol

cant help cos i really love drawing.

hahaha

hopefully it's all about drawing!

shall anticipate! (:

but one thing really bad about the timetable is that

we've got long breaks in btw.

and that's hated.

well well..

nvm then. shall see how we shall spend time on it. (:

so many things happened lately..

well.. shall not mention.

unhappy stuff.

*sighs*

been thinking alot lately.

family family family.

problems problems problems.

unhappiness unhappiness unhappiness.

whatever.

alright.. shall end here..

i'll post again when my com's ready. (:

hoho

it's 24th!! seventh! hahah

sad-ed.. cannot spend it together.

sorry k..

--

hmmm... think i'm beginning to like this job.

it's all about using your brain,

your communication skills,

your cleverness,

your gift of gab..

hahahah

well well..

i'm not a pro yet though..

but hope i will soon be!

lol (:

--

ala.. i miss my friends, school..

hahah

kkays. gtg. nights!! (:

i will and must stay strong.

--

"overcome the anger by non-anger;

overcome the wicked by goodness;

overcome the miser by generosity;

overcome the liar by truth."

--

"one is not wise

because one speaks too much.

he who is peaceable,

friendly and fearless is called wise."

--

"an evil deed is better left undone,

for such a deed torments one afterwards.

but a good deed is better done,

doing which one repents not later."

--

"so long as an evil deed has not ripened,

the fool thinks it as sweet as honey.

but when the evil deed ripens,

the fool comes to grief."

--

hmmm.. these were quoted from the book,

"Dhammapada- a practical guide to right living"

--

well well..

i shall not comment much,

for those who are aware,

are aware of themselves.

for those who practise evil deeds.

i believe in retribution.

they will reap what they sow.

they will get what they deserve.

time will show it all.

just watch it.

i believe everyone has an innate goodness.

be mindful and repent and one shall gain respect.

--

hoho.. cool.. i find myself so.....

hahaha nvm

it's just so cool reading such.

*enlightened!! *blinkblink*

hahah(:

the lethargic me.

today's my second day of work.

so far so good i guess..

hope it remains like that for the rest of the days till sch starts.

hmmmmm...

quite tiring.. haha my legs are beginning to hurt.

from all the walking and standing.

but guess it's not a bad thing.

hahah

cos i'm working towards a skinnier me!

hahahahah

hope after these days i'll become visibly more acceptable.

hahah

shall anticipate this day to come. lol(:

okok.. got to turn in..

haix. a no life me. haha